Wednesday, December 13, 2006

you better watch your back, MALLORY!

i just saw the funniest thing. you all must must get into it.

it's called supermarket of the stars. and it stars illeana douglas, justine bateman and jane lynch. it's a little five minute ditty on youtube that is so fantastic. it's really refreshing to see justine bateman getting all excited over being promoted to "carts." carts! seriously!

the best line of the first episode simply has to be "you think because you had your own tv show and your face was on a lunchbox and guys wanna have sex with you that you're special?" second best though was "daryll hannah works here?" but you need to watch it to get the context for that one.

seriously? come on. just watch it. mallory would watch it. mallory is in it. and her face was on a lunch box.

Monday, November 27, 2006

get it while its hot!

here goes misty ann enjoying her third glass of "georgia scarlett," a gift from the parents at thanksgiving last week. i'm reflecting about the insanity that was "black friday."

so, according to my sources, most of the outlet stores in the area (and by in the area, i mean in BFE years away from anywhere near where i live) opened at midnight. i'd be very curious to know just how many people were out then shopping. and how good the sales were. i did hear from a friend who hoofed it to best buy at 5AM that by the time she got to the front of the line "all laptops were sold out" and that half the line left. how much time did these people waste sleeping tents for this?
this is crazy talk! there are kids in tents outside circuit city! well, i don't know about kids but how awful would that be? seriously? i myself did not venture out on black friday, as i never have, as my mother never permitted it. ever. it's just ridiculous. i don't know what her reasoning was but mine is definitely in the "my time is much more valuable than the hundred or so dollars i could save on a plasma tv" variety. she even stated, so astutely, how happy she was that she no longer had children at home that required the latest and greatest in electronic asshatery for christmas.

i'll just say this.

those items that i'm interested in either giving or receiving for christmas rarely go on sale.

this, for example.

i give these candles nearly every year to those nearest and dearest. they are absolutely fantastic and smell magnificent and cost approximately fifty-two dollars all the time, without fail and never ever ever disappoints. so this year, when you've got a little gift to give, stop by your local fabulous pamperings store (like boutique serenite in montreal where i used to shop when i lived with our friends to the north) and pick up a smattering of these fantastic scented bougies. barney's co-op carries a selection of diptyque candles at both their georgetown and chevy chase locations. my personal favorites are the colored ones: figuier, tuberuese, baies, opopanax and gold pomander. work it out. happy shopping. with or without discount insanities.


misty ann matheson.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

this is better than fashion house.

so here's the part where i let you know what's been going on that's kept misty ann from posting for nearly a month.

we'll begin at the beginning. back in the summer i sort of began hanging out/fooling around with this friend of a friend. ex of a friend even. i didn't know at the time that he had been in a long term relationship for about four years. wow. then he moved to texas. i thought it was all over and done with and i could stop feeling like a dirty mistress.

he invited me to new york. i went. his significant other found out. i got a nasty email telling me to back off. ok, i get it. i'm all done. only guy continues to call me, email me, contact me, beg me to come to new york again. to come to texas, etc etc. misty ann is really not feeling it. there's too much drama. but i talk to him occasionally and in doing so i develop more feelings for this guy. it's getting messy now. i'm thinking, wow so he just needs to end this relationship and then i'll move on in. i'll maybe even move to texas! wow. crazy talk much. so i'm telling a friend all about this, and he's like, you know, if you want this, and need to know how he feels, just ask him straight out. well, i can't very well do that. so he takes it upon himself to fill in guy as to all this. my feelings, moving to texas, etc. well, guys significant other finds the email. which includes straight up QUOTED conversations with me and my friend. now, misty ann is out a few fridays ago with her best girlfriend, who gets a text message from guy's significant other (they are friends), threatening me with death if i don't quit it. so of course, i had to spill the beans to best girlfriend. she plays the dumb card with the significant other and runs some serious damage control, for which i am extremely grateful. seriously. i think all is going well at this point. but i call best girlfriend on friday to go out, and she sends me back a message explaining that she's been doing a lot of thinking and that she will no longer be my advocate and stand up for me when all i do is lie and screw her ex (yeah) over and over again. she and i are OVER. yeah.

so that's basically the gist of it all. nice.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

are these really the kind of people we want running our government?

do excuse the long-winded title, but it's the way things work sometimes. you all know this man on the left. george allen. one time governor of virginia now wanting to be a senator or something. ok fine whatever. here's the thing. i don't really care what he's running for or that he called some indian guy a "macaca" or whatever.

what i really care about is what the hell he is wearing. sure, in this picture he looks all fine and dandy. typical republican garb, something my father would SO completely wear all the time. he looks fine. he looks like a politician. i can totally handle this.

what i can't handle, is the HORROR HORROR HORROR (it is halloween so it's only fitting that it should be f-ing frightful) that appears below.

WHAT IS THIS? seriously? has he now taken to throwing large heavy objects at non-white people? so it appears. and now, i can only hope that this get-up is for halloween or that he's participating in some special fundraiser football throwing thing in some far-flung western virginia county, but you know, and i am pretty close to admitting i know, that this is what this fool sports in his every day life.

so i ask you, virginia, seriously? is this the kind of person you want up there? an extra on some "high school flashback" episode of DALLAS?

Saturday, October 21, 2006

two more reasons misty ann loves gucci

ladies. mens. it's time for a quick update on why even a tom ford-less gucci is still at the top of misty ann matheson's laundry heap.

reason number one: François Pinault, the owner of gucci, has been named the most powerful person in contemporary art by art review magazine. pinault and gucci both share the same secret to their success. they know how to make peoples with money feel and look good. beauty comes at a price, babies. misty ann wasn't always able to afford gucci. but, now that i can, i wear it as a badge of pride. i can afford to look good. i look good because i can afford to. you get the idea.

"French fashion magnate François Pinault, also the owner of Christie's auction house, has been crowned the most powerful figure in the contemporary art world in 2006, according to the annual ranking by ArtReview magazine. The list, in its fifth year, bases its rankings on commercial clout, intellectual influence and popularity. François Pinault, the owner of fashion giant Gucci and auction house Christie's, has been named the most powerful person in the contemporary art world." read more here.

reason number two misty ann loves gucci: they use the power for good. what's the point of being rich and powerful if you're not giving back to the less fortunate babies? the goodies in the pic above are just some of the yummy must-haves that gucci has designed as part of a campaign to benefit unicef. whip out the louis v. checkbooks. and get to shopping girls! there's no better way to do good and look good than gucci's new unicef campaign.

oh, and, did i mention that the divine jennifer connelly is on board for this? could it get any better?

"Gucci has continued its partnership with UNICEF this season in their 2006 Holiday campaign which will benefit UNICEF programs that aid children in Africa.From November 21st to December 31st, Gucci will donate 20 percent of the sales from a luxurious collection of items designed by Gucci’s Creative Director, Frida Giannini. The proceeds will specifically benefit education and health services to children in Mozambique, where nearly three-quarters of a million children are directly affected by HIV/AIDS.

“The 2006 holiday campaign is part of the most extensive philanthropic program in Gucci’s history,” said Mark Lee, Gucci CEO and President, in an earlier statement. “We are committed to supporting important humanitarian efforts through UNICEF.”

Helping to spread AIDS awareness and the Gucci and UNICEF partnership is actress Jennifer Connelly, who will act as honorary global representative of this year’s campaign. Connelly, who has spent considerable time in Mozambique and other affected regions in Africa, is just one of many famous faces that have stepped forth to help fight the global epidemic." read more here.
misty ann matheson hearts gucci.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

no guys, it's cool. i'll return this to wardrobe as soon as i'm through.

right. look at this mess. thank you ever so much gofugyourself for letting me in on two very very very big secrets. (and for - i hope - letting me borrow this image. it is theirs. wholly and fully. thank you)

first secret - someone besides misty ann matheson and the elusive and still sans identite circumlocutor is actually WATCHING "fashion house." seriously? girls, you're watching this? i guess it's the four of us now.

second secret - morgan fairchild has a face. what do i mean? i mean that for three awful painful weeks we were forced to watch bo derek deliver painfully flat lines and listen to the drivel spewed by the above pictured joel berti, all the while all we ever really wanted was MOMO! give us morgan. finally we got a mouth. MOUTH?! are you kidding me? finally we did see her face, but even in the previews for an episode in which we finally see her, what did they give us? you guessed her, HER MOUTH! so when we finally saw it, i wasn't actually sure it was her. i felt i had just been led to believe that it was her and that morgan herself no longer had a face. well, here is proof that she does.


misty ann

Friday, October 13, 2006

you know, things may have gone too far

how so, you might ask?

well, misty ann is gonna tell you. this time im blogging from new york, specifically the upper east side. don't worry, i'm not dead. i'm not moving. i'm just busy and currently on vacation.

so what's gone too far? the big sunglasses trend. you may remember an earlier post about tom ford's fabulous new line of sunwear. and i'm still into it. totally. but, look at this.

thanks so much to the superficial for this breaking news. seriously, when your eyewear begins to scare animals, i think it might just be time to rethink. and sure, i am not exactly paris' biggest fan, but if she, you know, tried to hug me, i am not so sure i would make the same face as her canine companion. then again, i am not so sure i wouldn't make the same face.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

i don't feel like dancing

or shopping, for that matter.

misty ann is reporting now from new york. i am here this weekend visiting a friend and so obviously i decided i needed to do some shopping. armed with my american express i headed out to fifth avenue to do some serious damage. i put on the biggest sunglasses i could find, grabbed a latte on the way, lit a fabulous new york cigarette and worked it all the way there. i even garnered a few compliments on my look en route. true, none of the people i would consider style mavens or anything, but the good wishes still stood.

the result, little damage done. why, you might ask? because the excitement was all lost. every store i passed caused me to mutter "we have one of those in georgetown/chevy chase/tysons galleria." what's going on with that? i remember a time when just the mere passing of a GIANT YELLOW FENDI sign would have sent me into total convulsions. i got excited, believe you me. but fendi was pretty much it. i figured that was pretty much the only store we don't have in the dc area, and i am sure that it's only a matter of time before one opens up. granted, the yellow b bag was beyond gorgeous. don't question. i totally paused at the window and stared. but that was pretty much it. sadly, even bergdorf goodman could only arouse so much excitement.

in the midst of all this i did notice one thing, both coach and vuitton had window displays including large backdrops of a colorful stripe. what gives?

but otherwise, new york is fantastic. the weather is great and all that. but you know, i really won't mind so much if the rest of my shopping this year is limited to the dc/va/md metro area. i mean consider that the first cusp store (i know, we've discussed this at length) is in mclean. mclean, virginia? as someone i once knew said "i'll take it." i agree.

hugs. misty ann.

Monday, September 18, 2006

i make the wallflowers quiver.

so the other day i found myself at tyson's corner and thought, "didn't i read some interesting thing about some interesting new store here just a while back?" and then i remembered that, yes, i had. A + E had lightly sprinkled some praise on cusp, this new concept store from neiman marcus at the corner. so i found it. hm. i like it. just as she did. surprise. i'm just really repeating this, cause she's right. before i move on.

so i also found this adorable adorable store that had JUST opened. seriously, they threw the doors open for the first time mere minutes before my arrival! martin + osa, it's called. walk inside and you are greeted/accosted by the scent of cedar. i exclaimed, loudly, "this smells like my parents cedar storage closet!" and the salesperson laughed and explained that it was a special fragran.....and i stopped listening. but all that aside, the store is great. my i mean, it's not particularly mind-blowing as far as what it's got but it has some great stuff. great casual everyday stuff for just whatever for you, plus, the best part, AMAZING things for the man in your life. or men. or for yourself. you know, it doesn't really matter.

my two favorite items (one of which i'd completely get for myself) were a merino wool ringer t for guys, and (also for guys) a cotton-cashmere blend sweater. i understand that neither of these things is particularly revolutionary, but it's perfect if you have that kind of guy on your hands. the guy who really won't love that cashmere sweater you got him at barney's. you know, he's just simple. he just likes his jeans and whatever. ok that's great. this is that. but better. you follow me.

look here's their logo. it's cute. aww. ok great. so i highly recommend this place. but then i found out some disturbing news. their parent company (only in the moneys, not about the concept or the clothes or anything) is american eagle. do what? excuse me? i was really concerned about this but then i found their dressing rooms, which were closed by ten feet high solid wood doors and contain pleasant murals of the outdoors and sounds of birds chirping. and i also then wandered into their shoe area. which contained three hundred thousand (approximately) adorable pair of sneakers. so i forgave them. so if i give you something and that logo is on the box, you know i love you.


misty ann