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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

the many faces of naomi campbell




whoa, naomi.


now, before i say anything, let me slip into my bullet proof balenciaga blouse and take cover behind a cabana boy.


YOU LOOK SO SCARY.

skinny. really really skinny.

BUT SO SCARY.

it's almost as though they have taken any possible remaining fat in your face, sucked it out, and created the hardest possible mounds of flesh on your chest. those things look like IRON. they look firm and high and everything i wish mine were but alas....

here's the best way to describe this, i suppose. you are battle-axe-attack-mode naomi from the neck up. from the neck down, you are chynna from WWF or whatever. seriously. LOOK. see the similarities?

those crazy crazy hard hard hard boobs! (and, what possibly might be the smallest nipples a woman has ever had. WHERE ARE THEY?)

ok, i need to go clean this sand out of my you-know-what. miguel, the cabana boy just shoved me face-first into the ground because he saw a black girl with a blackberry and feared for my life.

so do i.


but before you hurl small personal electronics at my head (thank god i put on the safety blouse) let me just say this. your dress is hot. so is the curly hair. so is the tie in the hair. i'm big big big into scarves and such tied into hair.

but you do look like a robot.

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